It's reflection time! This is always my hardest of these posts to get started. I've already said my highlights and "reflected" in each of the posts, you know? So I take reflections to mean on life in general, not necessarily just sewing. So here goes.
1. The hurricane was a major MAJOR set back for me. We were lucky and did not sustain much damage, but it was more damaging to my sanity than anything else. Not while it hit, but the aftermath of life in spite of all the new junk you've just been handed to deal with. I really felt like I was doing ok until this point in the year and I recently realized that this was the turning point in my outlook. This was also the time that I found out I needed to move again, and this left me in an unsettled state. I never wanted to do too much and I was afraid of getting involved in large projects because I was afraid I would have to pack up and leave, negating or messing up whatever I was working on. It may sound silly, but just this thought of displacement was enough to really mess me up mentally speaking. I need to work on getting myself mentally ok again - not feeling attached to things and all that Buddhist jazz. I just didn't pay attention to how much I had slipped back into the old mindset of relying on certain things all the time to define my day to day life instead of being able to roll with the punches and be happy in spite of whatever may come. Definitely something to put down on the goals.
2. I like making costumes in theory, but I find the process very stressful and not super productive. I thrive on feeling productive. I love knowing that I've accomplished something even in my downtime - thus all the creative hobbies I am ALWAYS doing. I'm really proud of the costumes I made this year, and I did learn a great deal making them (lots of trying new techniques, etc), but I kind of always walk away feeling that my time was somewhat wasted on this item that will only be worn a few times. I guess I've just really become accustomed to garment sewing. It fits my personality perfectly - I sew not only because I enjoy it, but also because it is useful to my daily life. I sew to make my life better in many ways, particularly because I have such a limited budget so clothing buying is limited to the thrift store offerings. I love that I am able to take my handiwork around with me everywhere I go :)
3. I need an uncluttered and cleaned up space to live in. This is one of those things that you always hear people tell you but you never really "get it" until one day it applies to you. I'm not the most fastidious person and I've never been very concerned about a certain amount of clutter in my house. Now that I've dealt with issues like depression and downsizing, I know the value of having a neat house. This is a huge struggle for me, but I've been better this year (just not quite good enough). It never fails that when I find myself in a funk, I look around me and things are a mess - and I honestly feel like this status snuck up on me in that moment. It's like I woke up and things were messy. I've found a good balance in my sewing room: Everything has a place, and I make a big mess during a project (unavoidable) but I clean up between each project. I put everything back where it goes, I vacuum, etc. I need that nice clean space to invite me in and get me motivated. When I feel frantic, I tend to push this need aside and just try to power through, but I find myself avoiding even going in my sewing room (I am honestly doing exactly that at this moment as I write this, lol). I need to pay better attention and dkeep things more generally tidy.
4. I've really enjoyed knitting lots of toys this year. Last year I tried to focus on more practical knitting projects, and while I loved making my sweaters that year, I only made 5 toys and left a couple of wips. This is so depressing to look back on! Toys are just my frivolous thing that I love to make, and I didn't realize how much denying that want had affected me until I started making lots of toys whenever I wanted this year. I made 18 toys this year (!!), some knitted and some crocheted, and several of those were large projects that involved many different pieces. I was really on a roll with it and feeling great. I'm glad that I let myself go in this respect and didn't force super practical knitting. I love the toys I have around to show for my time, and I had so much fun making them.
5. I need to try new things fairly often to keep myself entertained. Grant you, I love churning out yet another of my favorite shirt pattern just as much as anybody, but I have to mix it up by trying something new every so often or I become bored.
So that's that :) Check back soon to learn my goals for next year!
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